Children thrive on structure and look to you as a parent to keep them safe and give them guidance to get through life. Telling them "no" lets them know that you care for them enough to set some boundaries so that they are safe. Even if they don't appreciate your "no" right then, they will later.
Saying "no" does not mean you have to be extremely strict, but children learn what their boundaries are by testing them. If you don't say "no", they won't learn their boundaires and their behavior will become worse.
As I discussed in one of my previous blogs, routine is very important for children. Children of all ages need to know what to expect and what is expected of them. Consistency is key!
If you only say no when you are angry or overwhelmed, you are sending your child very mixed signals. Now, they won't know when they can/can't have or do something because your response is unpredictable and they will continue to test the limits.
What about my child who has temper tantrums when I tell him/her "no"?
The more consistent your are, the more your child will learn the boundaires and the temper tantrums will decrease. You may have to put up with some bad temper tantrums before you get there, but they will learn!
What if my child has a disorder or diagnosis?
Children with Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism, ADHD, and other developmental delays still need to hear the word "no" so that they can learn what is expected of them. Often, these children need even more structure and boundaries to guide them through life. Many people make the mistake of saying, "Well that child has Autism, so it's OK for him/her to act that way". Just like any other child, children with Autism and other developmental delays will rise to the expectations they are given.
For more information on this topic, check out: www.empoweringparents.com/blog/consequences-rewards/dr-joan-its-ok-to-say-no/#
Image: www.sosprograms.com
Powered by Compendium
Comments for It's OK to say "No" to your kids!