CFD Psych

Often, holidays bring some great times with our families. Positive memories will hopefully be created.  At other times we are reminded of the repetitive and oftentimes predictable patterns of communication that occur in our families. "There it goes again" we might find ourselves thinking. These are normal and fine, and while sometimes destructive, they certainly are not a problem as long as the pattern doesn't require a family member to be in the problem role, or the "sick role", or to be in a dysfunctional position in relation to others. 

Sometimes an individual will actually volunteer to be the "problem in the family". Another family member may be the "hero" or the "rescuer". Another may be the one who is always right or always good. While it takes courage to change one's own predictable role in the family, the good news is that it can be done if you think the family choreography needs to be shifted some. Changing stuck patterns is a great place to begin. Do something different, and study the result. This may be the place to begin. Working with a family therapist who is encouraging can also help. As the patterns of communication change, so do individual roles in the family. New energy is created. Changing the steps in the family choreography can even be fun. Let us know if we can help.

Best wishes, Stephen Elliott, Ph.D., Family Therapist