CFD Psych

Here's something I have learned and it took me a good while to learn it. It sure takes awhile to learn that people just really don't like to be criticized or blamed. Children feel discouraged by it. So, what's the option? The option is to encourage others by seeing the good while minimizing or overlooking their faults. This doesn't mean we are stuck with the Pollyannaish option of utilizing strictly positive thinking. Complaints stated as preferences, yearnings, or wishes can still be launched.  But adding a critical personal attack dimension definitely needs to be eliminated.  

Criticism can also be de-personalized.  I really liked the way my karate teacher handled it when a student would make the same mistake several times in a row.  The teacher would address the entire group of students as if they had all done it wrong. He would teach the group how to do it correctly, thereby sending the individual a message without making it personal. No one really knew who he was personally correcting, but we all knew he was not singling anyone out to embarrass them. It seemed to help the entire group while no one seemed to feel personally attacked.  For help with child or adolescent misbehavior or parenting issues, call one of our child psychologists or family therapists for a consultation. Best wishes, Stephen Elliott, Ph.D., Family Therapist, Child and Family Development, Charlotte, NC