Well we all know that bullies don't feel good about themselves. One only has to think about how we feel when we are feeling very happy. We don't feel like spreading pain and suffering. We would be far more interested in everyone around us being happy.
So, what does one do when approached by a bully who wants to make us feel bad with words and name-calling? Answer: We help them feel better about themselves. When they call us a negative name, we respond with, "What else? Come on, get it out. What else?" We facilitate their catharsis! We take none of it personally. It's all about the bully and his or her problem with themselves. We ask the bully to get it all off their chest, to get it out. When they are done with spewing out their poison, we then sincerely ask, "Do you feel better now?" If so, we can be glad with them, and assist them in feeling even better.
For help with child or adolescent misbehavior or parenting issues, call one of our child psychologists or family therapists for a consultation. Best wishes, Stephen Elliott, Ph.D., Family Therapist, Child and Family Development, Charlotte, NC
So, what does one do when approached by a bully who wants to make us feel bad with words and name-calling? Answer: We help them feel better about themselves. When they call us a negative name, we respond with, "What else? Come on, get it out. What else?" We facilitate their catharsis! We take none of it personally. It's all about the bully and his or her problem with themselves. We ask the bully to get it all off their chest, to get it out. When they are done with spewing out their poison, we then sincerely ask, "Do you feel better now?" If so, we can be glad with them, and assist them in feeling even better.
For help with child or adolescent misbehavior or parenting issues, call one of our child psychologists or family therapists for a consultation. Best wishes, Stephen Elliott, Ph.D., Family Therapist, Child and Family Development, Charlotte, NC
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