On the Move

In treating children with Autism practicing Pediatric physical therapy or Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) here at Child and Family Development in Charlotte, NC, I see core difficulties in children with Autism as they try to manage the challenges of daily life.  People with autism have difficulty negotiating a world where so many things happen in such imperfect ways.

Dr. Steve Gutstein, founder of RDI, says, “The world is imperfect. Rarely in our modern world do we complete something without interruption or finish it with 100% perfection. Most times decisions and follow through are based on “good enough” criteria. …As in all relationships, there are significant periods of getting it wrong. In fact, the importance of dealing with manageable failure is critical to the development of personal competence.” 

In my clinical experience, the idea of perfect is often related to what a person thinks is perfect. I have kids who think in a perfect world my door is closed… or who feel all the toys in my room must always be put up. If one particular child comes in my room and a toy is left out…he’ll put it up for me. I have another kid who decided that how he saw my room for the first time was the perfect example. So unfortunately a ball had casually been thrown “behind a mat”. From that point on, “behind the mat” is where that ball belonged. If he came in the room and the ball was up on the ball rack, he wasn’t happy until it was “behind the mat”. I know growing up, I didn’t want food to touch on my plate and the sauces shouldn’t run together either. But for some kids, Harris Teeter waffles are totally unacceptable but Eggo Waffles are perfect. For another child, he becomes frustrated when he doesn’t do an activity according to his standard that he hasn’t exactly specified and then refuses to try anymore. Some kids get bent out of shape if I don’t do the exact sequence of activities that I last week. 

I personally think that perfect for neurotypical people is something that would be nice, at least in the short run, or maybe less stressful. But with children with Autism, I believe that the need for “perfect” is coping related. I believe they have trouble efficiently developing/storing/retrieving/organizing a mental file of successfully coping with past situations that are less than perfect. They feel that things won’t go well/the day will be ruined unless the door is closed, the toys are put up, the ball is behind the rack, the mash potatoes and peas are not touching, and the Eggo waffles are really Eggo and they are all done in the correct order and in the correct way …so it will all be perfect. I don’t know about you but all that makes me really tired. 

Imperfect challenges task all of us, but are particularly challenging for people with Autism. Relationship Development Intervention targets the core deficits of autism to work on the building blocks of these skills. Call me if I can help you, (704) 332-4834 ext 114.  

*Quotations are from the RDI Messier brochure.