On the Move

In treating children with Autism via practicing Pediatric physical therapy or Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) here at Child and Family Development in Charlotte, NC, I see core difficulties in children with Autism as they try to manage the challenges of daily life.  People with autism have difficulty negotiating a world where the answer or a solution to a problem is so relative to everything else.  

The founder of RDI, Steve Gutstein, says, "In the real world, information has meaning and value based on its relative perspective to those things we have already learned or come to understand. It is from the relative stance that we see the world fresh each day and allow ourselves the new influence as we make decisions and choose the path we will travel."  

My personal favorite example of how life is so relative comes from my days in college. I was driving in my car in front of my boyfriend who was driving his own car.  I was happy and driving slightly silly. I was intentionally swerving within my lane, speeding up and slowing down...but not dramatically.  I imagined him laughing behind me.  I stopped laughing when the car behind him erupted in flashing blue lights and a siren.  The police man pulled me over and he asked if I had been drinking.  I explained to him that I didn't drink and that I wouldn't have driven like that if I had not been in love and it had not been my boyfriend in the car behind me...and I definitely wouldn't have driven like that if I had known that there was a cop 2 cars back.  ...He seemed to understand my relative difficulties and let me off with a warning. 

Other examples include that people understand that:

• How loud you burp (hopefully) is determined by who is around you.
• How hard you look like you are studying is determined by if your mother is looking over your shoulder... or even from the next room.
• How you hug somebody (or not) in a very exciting moment is determined by whether that person is in your family...or if you know them...remotely.
• How many times you wear the same shirt over and over again is determined by ...whether it is a new day...how dirty it is...or how bad it smells depending on the circumstances.
• How many cookies in a dish of cookies you eat is determined by how many are left and how many people haven't gotten cookies yet.
• How hard you play with your labrador dog (who loves you desperately no matter what) is different than the little girl you just met on the playground who is half your size.
• How long you talk about your favorite topic/obsession has everything to do with whether someone else is already talking, whether this is remotely on topic, whether you've been talking about it for the last 30 minutes already, and by how bored your conversational partners look.
• How many times you ask your mom for that new ipad is determined by how many times in the last minute you've already asked her, what kind of mood she is in, and whether you've just busted her favorite lamp...and by how many times she has already told you "No way!".
• How loud you scream yell and stomp at a Panther game if we (actually) win is different than how you might react at the baptism of your baby brother at church.
• How loudly you complain about your teacher depends on how closely she is sitting behind you in the cafeteria.